i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
