It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
