did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
