i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
