tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
