Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
