remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
