Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
