can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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