Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
