trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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