his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
