Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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