i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
