so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
