I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
