The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
