He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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