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Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
