sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
