Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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