i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
