Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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