peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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