also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
