Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
