He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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