It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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