she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
