Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
