Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
