ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
