I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
