I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
