i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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