oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
