I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
