my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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