If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
