Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
