Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
