I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Its about making memories worth repressing
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
