I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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