So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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