My nipple is on Facebook.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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