Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We have started to decorate penises.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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