I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
