brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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