My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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