My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
