On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
