Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
