you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
